What I've Always Wanted

Sometimes you need to lose something to realize how important it was to you.
Sometimes you never know how badly you wanted something until you have it.
I have always been a guys-girl and so I naturally thought that raising boys was my lot in life.
When I had a son, it just felt natural. I understand boys... building blocks, dinosaurs, wrestling... those were my favorite things growing up.
Then I was laying on the ultrasound table again,
Waiting to see the shape my family would take.
When they told me "It's a girl!" a feeling rose from my heart into my throat.
The joy I felt at that moment paralyzed me. I tried so hard to say something... To react to the situation, but all I could manage was tears.
My husband asked, "Are you okay?"
But the happiness wouldn't let up. I barely managed a nod, let alone an explanation.
And so I knew her name had to be Abigail which means "Brings Joy".

Now this little woman is in my life. Her big blue eyes are mesmerizing. Her smile is contagious.

I am the privileged mother who gets to watch her grow up.

I get to guide her and love her and even fight with her, I'm sure.

I am faced with the daunting task of showing her what it means to be a strong woman:

To be a free thinker,
To stand up for yourself,
To always do good.
It is a massive responsibility, but I am ready for the challenge.
After all- this is what I always wanted- even though I just realized it.