When my husband and I were engaged, we had dreamed together about the family we would like to have. We wanted a boy and a girl (hopefully in that specific order). We even picked out the perfect names: Blesson and Abigail. As many young engaged couples do, we were just putting together a blurred vision of what we hoped our future would look like.
About four years into our marriage we had our son, Blesson and three years later God gave us our daughter, Abigail. It was just liked we had planned.
Then I thought, "Wow God you really did give us the desires of our hearts. Thank you. I'm done having children."
A pastor friend of ours had shared a verse with us when we were in the hospital,
Psalms 127:3 -5
"3Behold, children are a gift of the Lord,
The fruit of the womb is a reward.
4 Like arrows in the hand of a warrior,
So are the children of one’s youth.
5 How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them;
They will not be ashamed
When they speak with their enemies in the gate."
When he had prayed these verses over us, I had thought in my head, "Whoa, hold up! Two children is perfectly fine. I don't need a whole quiver, Lord."
I did all the responsible things to make sure we wouldn't have any more children. In fact I was told that the choice I made would ensure that the likelihood of me not getting pregnant was 99.7%. God is in that .3%.
Sure enough, one day I found out I was 9 weeks pregnant. I thought it was impossible. I was in complete disbelief. I really struggled with this unexpected news. I had just started a new career and didn't want to deal with the ailments that come with pregnancy. I wasn't ready for more sleepless nights, daycare expenses, diapers and being stuck at home with a baby. I cried for days and grieved for the loss of the plans I had laid out for the future. I also panicked. Suddenly the walls felt like they were closing in on me. Our house was too small, our car was too small, my paycheck was too small and, (as my belly grew) my pants were even too small. I also felt extreme guilt and shame for all of the emotions and thoughts I experienced, knowing that many women would be happy to find out they were pregnant. In the end, John and I decided to trust God.
I went to my mother to tell her that I was pregnant. I could barely get the words out at first. Tears were streaming down my face when I told her I was pregnant, even though I was not planning it, even though I didn't want to be, even though I had no idea how I was going to make it all work out. My mother's concerned face turned into a slight smile as she threw her arms around me.
She said, "Oh honey, I felt the exact same way when I found out I was expecting you."
A long time ago my parents had decided that two girls were just the right size for their family. My dad had gotten a vasectomy and their likelihood of getting pregnant was 99.7% as well... then 6 years later I showed up.
My mother said to me, "Just look at what we would have missed out on if we wouldn't have had you."
In April 2016, our miracle baby was born. We named our daughter, Josephine which means "Jehovah increases", because God certainly increased the size of our family. Two years later I can tell you that God didn't just increase the size of our family. He increased our love, He increased our finances, and He increased our joy by ten-folds. We were humbled to learn that God's plans don't always match our own, but His plans are always good.
