One of the greatest gifts I have gotten from my children is an appreciation of time. Sometimes I look back at my pre-parent life and wonder what I did with all my spare time. When I get a few moments away from my kids, its a carpi diem moment.
"These are my minutes! What shall I do with them?" I exclaim.
And as a working mother, the moments I have with my kids are equally treasured and exciting. Watching them grow reminds me daily that time passes by so quickly and you can never get it back. So what a gift I have- time today...
And what will I do with it?
Kiss my girl on the top of the head, smell that vanishing baby smell. Giggle with my son and roll on the floor, sneaking in cuddles when I can. Read the best books to my son a hundred times. Sing songs and make up the lyrics. Spend some quality time talking with my best friend. Play tennis. And in those sweet moments of solitude, maybe I'll get to read a book, or cook, or paint, or garden....
Friday, July 13, 2012
Friday, June 8, 2012
Truly Blessed
"I could hold you in my arms, I could hold you forever."
The singer repeated as I held you and swayed.
We were surrounded by dancers.
Mothers with sons,
Lovers,
Sisters,
Fathers with daughters,
Friends.
Each of us holding someone we cared for,
Each swaying to the same love song.
And every one I saw was someone whom I loved.
We were all dancing one dance.
I looked into your eyes and said,
"We are truly truly blessed."
We were blessed to be in the presence of true love.
True family.
To be sharing one song, one dance, one moment,
with not just one but many.
If only I could hold this moment in my arms forever.
The singer repeated as I held you and swayed.
We were surrounded by dancers.
Mothers with sons,
Lovers,
Sisters,
Fathers with daughters,
Friends.
Each of us holding someone we cared for,
Each swaying to the same love song.
And every one I saw was someone whom I loved.
We were all dancing one dance.
I looked into your eyes and said,
"We are truly truly blessed."
We were blessed to be in the presence of true love.
True family.
To be sharing one song, one dance, one moment,
with not just one but many.
If only I could hold this moment in my arms forever.
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Patience
I came across this poem which I wrote very close to my due date and thought it was worth posting now:
Waiting is hard.
Not being able to control the outcome, the timing.
To simply wait in peace...it's challenging.
I want to be able to do something to speed time along.
I'd like to just "know" what was going to happen and when.
Instead I am powerless.
It is not my nature to be passive about life.
But there is no person I can incessantly bother,
There are no tasks I can do to bring me closer.
I have to just surrender to waiting.
It's the submissiveness that really gets to me.
I must resolve to accept what comes.
Waiting is hard.
Not being able to control the outcome, the timing.
To simply wait in peace...it's challenging.
I want to be able to do something to speed time along.
I'd like to just "know" what was going to happen and when.
Instead I am powerless.
It is not my nature to be passive about life.
But there is no person I can incessantly bother,
There are no tasks I can do to bring me closer.
I have to just surrender to waiting.
It's the submissiveness that really gets to me.
I must resolve to accept what comes.
-
Corazon Aquino
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Little Mystery
It seems like every day you are growing up,
Every time I see you,
You look older,
Or you are doing something new.
Slowly you are unveiling the person you will become.
It's a crazy phenomenon,
As a mother, I know you like no other.
We shared my body for some time.
I share my arms, my breasts and my smiles with you.
Yet you are still a mystery to me.
I observe you carefully.
I use my best detective skills,
Trying to discover your personality.
Even so... I feel like I'm just guessing.
But I know that you are lovely.
And I don't have to wonder about this.... I love you.
Every time I see you,
You look older,
Or you are doing something new.
Slowly you are unveiling the person you will become.
It's a crazy phenomenon,
As a mother, I know you like no other.
We shared my body for some time.
I share my arms, my breasts and my smiles with you.
Yet you are still a mystery to me.
I observe you carefully.
I use my best detective skills,
Trying to discover your personality.
Even so... I feel like I'm just guessing.
But I know that you are lovely.
And I don't have to wonder about this.... I love you.
Monday, May 14, 2012
Moment of Blessing
Parenting a three year old can be frustrating.
My son can be very trying, but everyday he blesses me...
Today was cold and rainy.
As my son was playing on our living room carpet,
I slipped upstairs to rock my baby daughter to sleep.
The rain made a hushing sound that seemed to sooth both of us.
As we rocked, I closed my eyes to relax.
Suddenly I heard foot step coming up the stairs.
It was the sound only a person with small legs and toddler feet could make.
My face grimaced as I thought of the disruption that would surely ensue.
My baby would start to cry all over again.
The door to the nursery opened and my son slipped in.
He carefully walked up to me and handed me the babies pacifier.
"Thank you" I whispered.
"You're welcome" he said so softly.
Then he turned around and walked out the door carefully closing the door behind him.
In that moment he seemed much older to me.
It was as if I caught a glimpse of the man my son would become...
Someone who was caring and responsible.
He somehow reminded me that he is growing up well.
I took comfort in this reminder...
This small moment of blessing.
My son can be very trying, but everyday he blesses me...
Today was cold and rainy.
As my son was playing on our living room carpet,
I slipped upstairs to rock my baby daughter to sleep.
The rain made a hushing sound that seemed to sooth both of us.
As we rocked, I closed my eyes to relax.
Suddenly I heard foot step coming up the stairs.
It was the sound only a person with small legs and toddler feet could make.
My face grimaced as I thought of the disruption that would surely ensue.
My baby would start to cry all over again.
The door to the nursery opened and my son slipped in.
He carefully walked up to me and handed me the babies pacifier.
"Thank you" I whispered.
"You're welcome" he said so softly.
Then he turned around and walked out the door carefully closing the door behind him.
In that moment he seemed much older to me.
It was as if I caught a glimpse of the man my son would become...
Someone who was caring and responsible.
He somehow reminded me that he is growing up well.
I took comfort in this reminder...
This small moment of blessing.
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
What I've Always Wanted
Sometimes you need to lose something to realize how important it was to you.
Sometimes you never know how badly you wanted something until you have it.
I have always been a guys-girl and so I naturally thought that raising boys was my lot in life.
When I had a son, it just felt natural. I understand boys... building blocks, dinosaurs, wrestling... those were my favorite things growing up.
Then I was laying on the ultrasound table again,
Waiting to see the shape my family would take.
When they told me "It's a girl!" a feeling rose from my heart into my throat.
The joy I felt at that moment paralyzed me. I tried so hard to say something... To react to the situation, but all I could manage was tears.
My husband asked, "Are you okay?"
But the happiness wouldn't let up. I barely managed a nod, let alone an explanation.
And so I knew her name had to be Abigail which means "Brings Joy".
To stand up for yourself,
To always do good.
It is a massive responsibility, but I am ready for the challenge.
After all- this is what I always wanted- even though I just realized it.
Sometimes you never know how badly you wanted something until you have it.
I have always been a guys-girl and so I naturally thought that raising boys was my lot in life.
When I had a son, it just felt natural. I understand boys... building blocks, dinosaurs, wrestling... those were my favorite things growing up.
Then I was laying on the ultrasound table again,
Waiting to see the shape my family would take.
When they told me "It's a girl!" a feeling rose from my heart into my throat.
The joy I felt at that moment paralyzed me. I tried so hard to say something... To react to the situation, but all I could manage was tears.
My husband asked, "Are you okay?"
But the happiness wouldn't let up. I barely managed a nod, let alone an explanation.
And so I knew her name had to be Abigail which means "Brings Joy".
Now this little woman is in my life. Her big blue eyes are mesmerizing. Her smile is contagious.
I am the privileged mother who gets to watch her grow up.
I get to guide her and love her and even fight with her, I'm sure.
I am faced with the daunting task of showing her what it means to be a strong woman:
To be a free thinker, To stand up for yourself,
To always do good.
It is a massive responsibility, but I am ready for the challenge.
After all- this is what I always wanted- even though I just realized it.
Friday, January 20, 2012
Feeling Nostalgic
Nostalgia is creeping into my mind,
Reminding me of simpler times.
A time when love was all I needed.
I'm thinking about your hand in mine.
I'm pondering those quiet exchanges.
It's funny how real it all still feels.
The past can seem brighter in memory.
Those day weren't always so sunny,
But then, I had nothing much to lose.
Progression has a way of weighing us down.
Success can shake your confidence.
And here I am with everything I had wanted.
Still I'm thinking of the simple days,
When I didn't know the world's ways.
I have it all... except that sweet simplicity.
Reminding me of simpler times.
A time when love was all I needed.
I'm thinking about your hand in mine.
I'm pondering those quiet exchanges.
It's funny how real it all still feels.
The past can seem brighter in memory.
Those day weren't always so sunny,
But then, I had nothing much to lose.
Progression has a way of weighing us down.
Success can shake your confidence.
And here I am with everything I had wanted.
Still I'm thinking of the simple days,
When I didn't know the world's ways.
I have it all... except that sweet simplicity.
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