Monday, November 10, 2014

Dependance

Sometimes I feel very weak,
I wish I could be strong all the time.
I wish I was as independent as my stubborn temperament would like.
But there are times when my heart feels very vulnerable.
There are times when I need...

Even though every part of my brain will tell me to buck up,
Stick my chin up and be independently awesome.
My gut, my heart, says I am hopelessly dependent.
Why do I identify the part of me that is able to admit I need other people as weak?
Why do I consider my self-sufficient side as powerful?

It seems messed up when I word it that way,
But so does waiting on Superman.

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Snooze

I awaken
Suddenly I'm hit with sensations
I'm aware of my soft sheets
The way my firm mattress cradles my body,
The way my warm blankets shield me from the morning chill
The way the man I love lays close beside me,
I just need to take a moment,
To embrace the sensations of another day of life.
Suddenly shaving doesn't seem so important.
Snooze button.

Friday, September 12, 2014

Beautiful Chaos

Last night I painted a picture.
As I started to glide my brush,
I had ever intention of making an exact replica of the photo I was looking at.
Quickly my hands took over,
Blending light strokes of different colors,
The way I always paint everything- impressionistically.
When I was done.
I stood back and was surprised by the work I did.
Almost feeling like I had not done it myself.
My hands had taken over,
The brush, the paints took control of the work.
Sometimes giving yourself up to the chaos,
Is what creates the most beautiful parts of life.

Friday, September 5, 2014

Watching you bloom

In the early hours of the morning,
I am about to leave for the day,
Before anyone else  in the house is out of bed.
As I button my shirt,
I watch my daughter open the door to the bedroom and climb in bed with her daddy,
She pulls her blanket up to her cheek.
Then with a devilish smiles she declares,
"Go away mommy!" and giggles.
She makes me laugh as I kiss her head and say goodbye.
As I leave I smile at the precocious little girl I'm raising.
She's so smart and funny.
My son and daughter often fill me with awe in this way.
Being a mother I get to watch their personalities slowly bloom.
It's magical and scary sometimes,
But mostly it fills my heart with joy.

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Those things you did

Those things you did to me last night...
Shook me to my core.
Just the memory of it,
Makes me blush with excitement,
Sigh with renewed desire.
And I can't even look in your eyes,
Because I'm certain you'll find out,
About the things you did to me last night...
In my dream.

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Can't Sleep


So here I lay restless in bed,
The bed as empty as I feel in this moment.

I can’t even understand what I am feeling.

So I impatiently compose in my head what I could do differently.

What choices I could I have changed?
What words could be said that would fix everything?
Tonight I have no answers.

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Happy Anniversary

I've become a student
of your morning faces,
your thoughtful pauses,
your simple good-byes.

I'm a learned pupil
of the shape of your hand,
the rhythm of your breathing,
the voice in your smile.

And I could write volumes
of the pictures in your eyes,
the depth of your throat,
the topology of your flesh.

Yet still
Everyday
You surprise me.

**Originally written in 2004... still true today.**