Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Unspoken

Sometimes unspoken words are stronger.
I'm not sure what you mean,
but it is making my imagination run wild.
And that smile makes me wonder about your hidden intentions.
Maybe it's nothing,
but when you looked at me just now...
I felt it from toes straight up my legs.

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

When you wake from your nap

When you wake from your nap,
Cheeks pink and warm,
Blue eyes wide.
Completely refreshed.
Ready to take on a million adventures.
You stand up as tall as possible,
And declare something inexplicable,
With so much passion.
I can tell you've been waiting, to share it with me.
Hello, Beautiful Girl!

Sunday, June 16, 2013

Dancing with my Father

My father is a quiet, contemplative soul,
He taught his three daughters to be independent.
He taught us that our most beautiful asset is our ability to think for ourselves.

My father is loving but shy.
I always felt closest to my dad in our quiet conversations.
Some of my favorite memories with my father are on the dance floor.

On the dance floor my father transforms,
He moves his hips, spins and twirls,
His eyes widen as he sings his favorite line from the song.
He wraps his huge hands around mine and we take off in his own artistic expression.

I love watching my parents dance together,
They laugh and smile,
They move as one, they seem so in love.
But every now and then my dad would stop dancing with my mother;
He would reach out his hand to me and we would dance.




Friday, May 3, 2013

Growing Up

As I gain more and more experience,
I become more and more aware of the evil in the world.
I used to think that every person wanted to be good.
The older I get the more I realize that we all have the ability to do evil.
Not only the ability, but we all have the desire.

Even more startling to me is my own lack of justice.
My own evil.
I was not aware of its existence when I was younger.
But the evil is inside of me and it lashes out tenaciously at times.
I try to suppress it, but I can no longer deny its presence.

Thursday, April 11, 2013

It is enough

Sometimes when I feel like the whole world is cruel and selfish.
Sometimes when I feel like everyone has a hidden agenda,
Everyone is seeking more power, more control.
Than I think of you and the love you have for me.
It is simple and true.
It is my cornerstone.
I know you better than I know anyone,
And I know your sweet soul.
It is enough.
I don't need more.

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Being Bad

Tonight I had to punish my son. As I squatted down to explain to him why his actions led to certain consequences, he tearfully exclaimed, "I want to be a good boy. I want to make good choices."

In theory it is really simple: Make good choices, and you get good results. Make bad choices and you get bad results. Is it ever that easy? It doesn't matter if you are 4 or 40; we all struggle to do the right thing. Sometimes being bad is way more fun. Sometimes good guys finish last.

As much as I would like to say I am a crusader for good. As much as I would like to think that I am a person of high integrity, there is a part of me that wants to be bad. I don't always want to be a good girl; I don't always want to make good choices. A lot of times the only thing stopping me from being terrible, is my fear of the consequences. I wish I was more noble than that.

Make bad choices and you get bad results. I used to think it was just that simple, but sometimes I wonder.

Friday, March 22, 2013

Begin Present

How can I stay present when the past keeps turning up in my thoughts? I wish I wasn't so flighty sometimes. I wish I bounced back beter from my mistakes instead of tormenting myself with them continually. I beat myself up. I think about what I should have done. I am really horribly harder on myself than any one else in my life.

How do I stop this chain of abuse? I want to live in the moment, not being oblivious to the wake my actions caused... but mindful of where I am going more than where I have been. How do people live lives without regrets, shrug off mistakes, move on as if nothing happened? In some ways I think it is horrible that they can do this, but in other ways I secretly wish I had that ability. How do I strike a balance between learning from my errors and moving on?