Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Magnificent Body

I am usually a very confident woman.
I've never had the habit, as some woman do, of self deprecation.
Maybe it's because I've always been fit.
Even when my tall and lean body filled out into full hips,
I still never minded flaunting what my mamma gave me.
Even after my stomach was decorated with stretch marks.
I still embraced my "motherly" look.

But there is something decidedly unsexy about pregnancy.
My body develops from woman to "baby factory".
All my energy, mental capacity, control over body functions- is sacrificed.
My usually swaying hips awkwardly waddle,
My skin rebels against the increased hormones.
And sex becomes an accomplishment- like pole vaulting.
My husband claims I'm still as sexy as ever,
But it is hard to believe him.

Part of me feels guilty for not embracing the moment.
Many women would love to be in my position and can't.
And I AM amazed that my body can grow organs,
Sustain the life of two people,
Grow and stretch to magnificent proportions.
I am amazed and grateful to my body,
But I still can't say it's sexy.
So I will wait for months like a beached whale,
Until I can be free to jump and spin again.

Friday, December 16, 2011

New Person

I had a fear last time I was pregnant.
I was so worried I wouldn't like my son.
I knew I would love him unconditionally.
But I didn't know if I would LIKE him.
What kind of person would he be?
Would we get along?
I ended up being happily surprised by his spirit.
He is such a laid-back, funny, sweet kid.
He's the kind of guy you could share a pint (of milk) with.

Now we have a new person entering our family.
I am feeling the same sort of worry.
I look down at my growing belly and think,
"Hey who are you in there?"
I have so many dreams and ideas about my children.
I wish so many things for them.
My biggest wish is that they are good people:
Full of Good Character, Charity, and Gratitude.
If I could guarantee these qualities in my children,
The rest can be a sweet surprise.