Thursday, October 8, 2009

Naive Again

Sometimes I feel like I’m still a naïve little girl. I remember very clearly my first few months of college. Until that point, everything I had learned had been based around the confining walls of my private school, where everyone knew my name. I remember times I would innocently sleep in the same bed with one of my guy friends and nothing would happen. I thought all men were like that. I thought it was normal for guys and girls to be just friends, without ever getting involved.
Those first couple months out of high school were rough for me. I felt like the whole world was so different from how I had originally seen it. I had trouble placing boundaries between friendship and something more. I think I may have broken a couple hearts. I was shocked to discover how many men really just wanted to get in my pants. In movies, the “players,” are obvious to spot. In real life the roles of player, good guy, and bad guy aren’t so clear.
After 6 years in the real world and 4 years of marriage, I have learned so much more about male/ female relationships. Still occasionally something happens and I feel 17 again, wide-eyed and naïve. I like to think I am an assertive successful woman, but I don’t always feel that way. I’d like to say I completely understand men, but I am always being surprised. It seems I am always being put in my place.

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